In our church, members of the congregation are asked in advance if they would be willing to prepare and then give a talk on Sunday on a certain topic. This past week I was asked to prepare a talk on "Improving personal prayers." I learned a lot, refreshed my memory and enjoyed the spirit that studying the doctrine can bring. I'd love for you to read my thoughts in hopes that it brings a spirit to you too.
Elder Kevin W.
Pearson of the 70 gave a devotional address at BYU–Hawaii on May 17, 2011
titled “Improving your personal prayers.” Many of the quotes I share will be
from his address. Elder Pearson states,
“ The divine
invitation to pray unto the Father in the name of Jesus Christ
is the single most mentioned commandment in all recorded scripture and is the
most basic form of personal worship. Yet many of us struggle in our attempts to
make personal prayer meaningful and revelatory.
I am convinced
that personal prayer is one of the most significant challenges facing members
of the Church, particularly youth and young adults. And because they struggle
with prayer, they struggle spiritually.
To pray is to speak with God, the Eternal Father of our
spirits—not at Him but with Him. He loves each of us perfectly and is full of
mercy and understanding. He knows everything about us. He knows what we need,
even when we can see only what we want. He has infinite power and capacity to
sustain and guide us. He is always willing to forgive us and to help us in all
things. We can speak with Heavenly Father vocally or by forming thoughts and
expressions in our minds and hearts.”
Since God knows
each of us so perfectly he is able to prepare others to be answers to the prayers
we may not know we will even pray. For example, my younger brother Javier is serving
in the Nevada, Reno mission. He has been out 16 months and is loving his area,
his companions and his experiences. In a letter home this week he shared the
following:
“We were in this
neighborhood in Fernley a few days ago and we were knocking on the door of a
person that had talked to the missionaries before. Across the street a man was
coming out of his house, walking to his car. We went over and started talking
to him. His name is Al, and Al has been going through a lot of stuff
lately, and he was praying at the very moment we saw him, that something would
happen that could help him. He was really surprised to see us, and knew that we
were an answer to his prayers. It taught me that you really never know when you
might be the answer to somebody’s prayer.”
He didn’t go
into detail about why their original contact had fallen through or what
became of his conversation. Sometimes we need to humble ourselves and realize
that the Lord will use us to answer the prayers of others if we let him. My
brother had previously written about his aversions to striking up a
conversation with people about the gospel. He said, “Our Mission President had
us make a goal to talk with everybody that we see. At first I was really
nervous about doing that because I figured that nobody really wanted to talk to
us or know what we were doing. I’m not sure why I thought that, because now we
really don’t have a problem going up to somebody and starting to talk to them.
In my mind I make up excuses to not go and talk to somebody. Like, “Oh they
don’t look interested.” Or, “They look busy.” And then we don’t talk to that
person. It happens a lot less often than in the beginning of my mission.
How different
would this afternoon have been if he and his companion felt too timid to talk
to this man as he had mentioned. Not only will praying allow us to be in tune
with the spirit it will help us to follow the will of the father in our day to
day lives blessing others along the way.
Elder Pearson commented on personal prayers. He stated, “Personal
prayers should be solemn, sacred expressions of praise and gratitude; heartfelt petitions for specific needs and desires;
humble, contrite confessions and requests for cleansing forgiveness; pleadings for comfort, direction, and revelation. These
expressions often cause us to pour out our very souls to our loving Heavenly
Father.
Prayer is often a brief communication, but it can also be an
open and continuous dialogue all throughout the day and night”
I love to think of it as that, continuous dialogue. The
communication line doesn’t have to be cut as soon as we say Amen. We can
continue to speak with the Lord throughout the day in our hearts and minds.
Elder Pearson
pointed out that “Satan will be the only one who tells you that you cannot or
should not pray. The Holy Ghost always encourages us to pray, even if we are
struggling with obedience and personal worthiness.” By the time evening rolls
around I’ve been picking up messes all day and dealing with the day to day
struggles of being a mother. When my husband gets home and we finally sit down
to eat a meal that was made with a child attached to my pant leg I don’t feel in
a very spiritual mood and have occasionally declined my husband’s invitation to
say the prayer over dinner. I realize that by declining that communication with
the lord and the opportunity to show my gratitude for all that we do have I am
only hurting myself. I am choosing to keep myself away from his spirit. I am
learning that when I don’t feel that I want to pray is the time where I need to
pray the most.
Elder Pearson
reminds us that “Prayer is not a negotiation process. It is an alignment process.
We don’t move God to our point of view. Prayer is less about changing our
circumstances and more about changing us. It is about seeking His will and
asking for His help to do what we need to do. When we align our will with
Heavenly Father’s will, answers and spiritual power will flow more freely.
Following this pattern allows us to pray with faith.”
He shared a
story of his own personal struggle with prayer. I quote his experience, “Nearly 20 years ago, our fifth son,
Benjamin, was born. My wife sensed that something wasn’t right with Benjamin’s
eyes. We consulted a close friend and retinal specialist in our ward, who
confirmed our concerns and diagnosed Benjamin’s condition as retinal blastoma,
a rare form of cancer of the eye. The news was devastating.
A few weeks later, Benjamin was to have the first of many
surgical treatments. Prior to the operation we met with the surgeon and told
him that we believed that he would find that Benjamin’s eye would be healed and
not need to be removed. Our entire family
and many ward members were fasting and praying for our son, and we had great
faith that Benjamin would be healed.
An hour later, the surgeon returned and confirmed that
Benjamin’s eye had been destroyed by the tumor cells and that his other eye
also had several serious tumors that needed immediate treatment. I was
speechless. Completely overcome with grief and disbelief, I walked out of the
hospital into the damp San Francisco morning and began to walk, weeping
bitterly.
I had done everything I had been taught to do. We had prayed
and received a strong impression to select this doctor. We had fasted and
prayed and felt certain that our infant son would be healed through faith and
through the power of the priesthood. Yet the Lord had not intervened. Our faith
it seems had been no more than vain hope. I began to question everything I had
ever believed. As I walked, I felt betrayed and angry. I was overcome with
pain.
I am not proud of the conversation I had with Heavenly
Father as I walked and wept that morning. After a time, I got hold of myself
emotionally. I remember the words of a children’s Primary song coming into my
mind. “Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every
child’s prayer?” Because you clearly haven’t been listening to mine or maybe
you just don’t really care about me and my son.
In that moment, a tender mercy came. In my mind and heart, I
felt these words: “Kevin, he is my son too.” The clarity of the prompting was
unmistakable. I realized in that moment that I had not understood the purpose
of prayer at all. I had assumed that, just because I had a righteous cause, I
could use the priesthood and fasting and prayer to change the will of God.
For the first time in my life, I fully realized that I was
not in charge. I knew that I needed to submit to Heavenly Father’s will. I
couldn’t have what I wanted when and how I wanted it just because I was keeping
the commandments. The purpose of prayer was not to tell Heavenly Father what to
do, rather to find out what He would have me do and learn. I needed to align my
will with His.
We would face another six years of serious challenges as we
battled our little son’s condition to save his other eye and his life. But I
now knew that Heavenly Father was aware and in charge. And no matter how things
ultimately worked out, He had heard and answered my prayer. Today our miracle
son is serving a full-time mission in Spain.”
I’d like to share an experience from our own lives.
Travis and I were engaged July 2010. When we were trying to
determine a wedding date we received a lot of feedback from family as to when
it should be. We prayed and talked about it and consistently felt impressed
that it should be March 2011. This time period was not well suited for our
families. My sister was due with her third baby just two weeks before the date
we picked. We planned to get married during our Spring Break from college and
then we would live in Harrisonburg, an hour from Southern Virginia University,
where I attended, while Travis went to James Madison meaning I would have to
commute daily to my 8 am classes. Our
family tried to help us understand why a Summer wedding would be a better
option but we stuck to our guns and planned our wedding for March 19, 2011. The
week before our wedding, a slot opened up with the JMU Army ROTC program that
would allow Travis to join ROTC by first enlisting in the Army Reserves, which
would allow him to become an officer after graduation. So, two days after our
wedding Travis joined the Army and left for Infantry Basic Training a short four
weeks after our marriage. His training lasted from April until August with
limited communication, but he was able to get it all done while on summer break
from JMU so he didn’t miss any school. We quickly realized that if our wedding
had been planned for the Summer that would not have been plausible or possible.
Since we got married two short days before he enlisted we were eligible for the
extra financial benefits that married couples receive in the army. These funds
are what sustained us while we both completed our degrees. In addition, my
sister had her baby a month early and
was fully recovered in time to attend our wedding. I know that our decision to be
married when we did was guided by the spirit. Following the well intentioned
direction of our families would have caused us more difficulty and struggle. I
am thankful that the Lord saw fit to direct us when we couldn’t foresee what
was ahead of us. His guiding hand allowed us to pick what turned out to be the
only weekend on which we could have been married.
I know if we each make personal prayer a priority it can provide us with the spirit of the Lord which can help align our desires with His.
