Time (and) change

The time change from daylight savings hasn't been too kind to poor Bailee. It came at a bad time anyway since we are trying to switch from two shorter naps each day to one long nap. We didn't quite have that down when the hours got all switched up. So, we're just winging it. This morning she was up at 6:00 and we had eaten breakfast, played, she had a bath, and was back down for a nap by 8:45. More often she wakes up about 8:00. As I held her in my arms, in the rocking chair in the corner of her room I looked down and realized, although a year has gone by, in a blink no less, she is still a baby. She still needs so much from me. She expects only good from the world. I held her and thought how thankful I am that she's part of our family. This wasn't one of those "it's Thanksgiving month so here is my obligatory list of things I'm thankful for" type of things. This was a true, heartfelt gratitude for her. As cliche as it sounds, life would be so different without her, it wouldn't be as rich and full. Gazing down at her sweet, innocent face I realized that she wasn't the only one who had changed this year. I've done a lot of changing. In a short period of time I went from college student, to young wife to mom. A year ago I didn't feel like a "mother" though. I was caring for her, sure, but my attitude was not where it is now. A year ago Bailee was "taking up all of my time." She was "the reason I didn't have time to shower" and was "keeping me up at night." Now she is still doing those things but I don't begrudge her. I've come to realize that time is ever so fleeting. If every year goes by as quick as this one has, we will be standing on some college campus somewhere waving goodbye to our "baby" before we've had a chance to enjoy what we have.
So, I don't want to rush her. Let her sleep in my arms, and don't force her to walk just yet. As the poem goes- babies don't keep.
So, as Thanksgiving does approach I express my gratitude for the change in me. Bailee came with a sweet spirit, a loving heart and is full of joy. Weather I had those things once and lost them I don't know but I know she is helping me gain them now. My hair may never be done nicely and my pants may fit a little too tight but at the end of the day, I know I took that time for one more hug, a "squish" from my little girl. She's learned to kiss and will grab my face to give her one. Those are the moments I know I will remember, moments I will look back on when I'm back home from taking her to college.